Caught "Gangs of New York" on Friday night........ Gosh!.......... It was fucking nearly 3 hrs long!......... And I was sitting at the second front row of the cinema and can you imagine all the while I had to tilt my head high to watch the show......... and what's worse was there was this unseemly and smelly big and fat man (he reminds me of the Fat Bastard in Austin Power 2) who kept snoring, scatching his head and fidgeting around that was making me so uncomfortable.......... I have never seen such a no manners cum rudeness person in my life before........ The whole while I cant even concentrate on the movie....... Fucking CB man!.......... Anyway the show was super violent......... Killings were done without any eye blinking at all ......... Very cruel........ Riots everywhere....... Corruptions around......... Only the triad leader had the power......... Native vs Foreign........... I cant imagine a society in this manner!.........Felt so lucky to be living in such a safe place where law and order are being uphold rightly and justified...........

Anyway, was walking around town earlier and realised that everywhere was having sales due to Post-Christmas Day.......... Apparels like Topshop, Mango, U2, G2000, Ms Selfridge, GG>5 etc......... Departmental stores like Taka, Metro, Tangs, Robinsons........ And even bookstore like Borders......... Sales!....... Sales!......... Sales!......... No wonder super jammed with muggards as usual...... Damn buay tahan!...... I have to avoid town for the next few weeks man!

The music at Zouk was kindda boring last night......... Timo Mas was spinning.......... supposed to play house music but in the end all kinds of music came out....... Got Tribal music........ Madonna's songs......... Yucks!......... Think PVD is still better......... No wonder he is No. 4 Top World DJ.............And you could see by the turnout at Zouk last night compared to PVD's night as well....... Anyway was there becos to accompany a fren.... Not becos of the music!

I really dont understand it at all......... sigh......... When you bo chap a guy, he complained that he doesnt have a place in my heart and I dont showered him enuf love and care and in the end he got pissed and hurt ......... And when you chap a guy much, he complained that you are too demanding and sensitive and in the end you are the one who got hurt........ sigh........... What am I supposed to do?......... I'm totally at a loss...... I have been hurt and learnt my lesson of showering and giving too much that I have adopted a Fuck-Care attitute now....... But I hurt someone becos of that........ And it is making me very miserable for the past 2 days becos I felt so shitty......... Is X'mas day a really big deal to have to spend it with your loved ones?......... Why cant just spend it on any other day?!?........ Really dont get it at all........ X'mas doesnt mean much to me...... and I dont give a damn about it.......... and that's why I didnt make any effort and broke my promise........

And just when I already had enough misery, a far away fren was upset at me for some reasons........ Gosh!!......... What is the problem man!?!........... Why did everyone get angry at me when I just didnt care?.......... Can you guys just give me a BREAK and leave me ALONE!!!

HOHOHO........ Merry Xmas!........ Have been receiving so many Xmas's greetings from frens last night.......... Xmas is the day for Peace, Love and Joy!......... Anyway, yesterday had a small celebration with colleagues at work..... Happened to be my boss and another one of my colleague's birthday at the same time...... Had some cakes and X'mas exchange thingy......

Then later in the evening, went to a fren's place for barbecue......... My supposed plan was to go buy food for the barbecue with a fren and then meet another fren for dinner with his family and then went back to the barbecue again.......... Was kindda force to go to the dinner with his family.......... Just wanted to make him happy.......... Didnt feel like going and I guessed fren sensed it.......... Hence, in the end, he told me it's fine if I didnt wanna go ............and I agreed cos I rather stayed at the barbecue............ I knew that he was sad about it......... He said Xmas is a special day to spent time with your loved ones........ BUT I'm not neither a Christian or a Catholic........ and X'mas doesnt means anything to me............ It is just a day where I can party and take a break from work........... Anyhow, cooked Fried Mee Hoon for the barbecue........ and it was a sell-out!...... Everyone said it's very nice!........ grin .......... I'm not really a great cook but I do know how to cook some simple dishes..... Eat, Watch VCD, Eat, Exchange Pressies, Eat, Play games........ Stayed over at his place........ Just got back awhile ago....... Only have a few hours of sleep left.......... Have to wake up early later to go to fren's house for some dinner........ Cant sleep till 5 or 6 in the evening today...........This time I really have to go...... Becos I have made a promise to him to wake up early and go to his place for some dinner again........(Arrghhh!!....... sigh.........).....

Prezzies Received for 2002's Xmas:
~ A Cute Hand Towel
~ A Super Big, Chi-Na and Ugly Piggy Bank
~ A Nice Scent Davidoff's Woman Shampoo
~ A Retro Clock

Well fren was back today's morning....... Recevied a call from him after he touched down........... Was glad to hear his voice again.......... It's been so long since I last saw him (Right Dre? grin.......)........ Will have to catch up with him real soon becos he's going back next week for his summer class......... Welcome Back Dre!!

Went to town earlier..... Super dooper jam packed with lots of muggards....... Everyone rushing to do their last min Xmas's shopping.......Cashiers long queue........... Wrapping counters also long queue...........Even foodcourt was packed without any seats available........ Have to wait for awhile before getting a place just to eat and drink...... Scary man!..........Hate crowded places...... But got no choice...... Cos have to get some pressies for gift exchange morrow....... Legs were aching earlier........ And now after all the tireness, I still have to wrap my presents....... FUCK!..... Dun care liao..... I'm just gonna anyhow wrap them and go to bed.....
Oh ya..... Fren finally coming back on Wednesday's morning...... FINALLY AGAIN!......[Have a safe flight ya! = )]....... Catch-up time again!.....

My new comp FINALLY has a place of its own...... Mum FINALLYbought a table for me to place all my new gadgets on it....... Everything is in place now...... Printer is set up FINALLY....... The Palm Top software is also FINALLY installed into my new comp and ready to use...... FINALLY!!......YAY!!........... And now I'm using my new comp to type this blog and also to download mp3..... grin .......... Flavour of the month - Livehouse ::Spin::!

Spectacular!.......... Amazing Effects!.......... Beautiful Scenary!.......... Exciting Battle !........ Cute Elve!.......... Funny Dwarf!......... Brave Aragorn!..........Wise Gandalf!...... The Two Towers!....... Definately my vote for the Best Movie of the Year!....... 3 hrs doesnt seems like 3 hrs.... wish it will be longer.... cant wait for "The Return of The King" to be shown..... Arrrgh!!..... Gonna be another year again!!........ I have better finished reading the trilogy book.....BUT I have already read the ending even before I finish reading the whole book! grin.....

FINALLY!......... My new comp has ARRIVED!........ Got a good deal in getting it..... FREE Printer......... FREE Web Cam......... LCD screen...... all these below $2K......... dam cool!......... Check it out
*COMPAQ*

Feels so weird........ difficult to show my affections........ dont really know about my inner feelings........ maybe it's been a long time since such thing has been showered on me....... It's definately feels so pampered and honoured to be loved by someone rather than to loved someone....... LOVE! What is LOVE?? What do you do when someone says "I LUV You" to you???....... Do I have to reply back "I LUV You too!" as well??........... Or just smile and keep quiet??......... Or just simply says "Thanks for loving me!"??........

Gonna go KL sometime soon....... adventure trip for me...... dam exciting!.... cant wait for the day to come.....after that, gonna go up to Thailand! Woooo Hooooo....... it's been a while since I go there though I have been there twice!..... this will be the third time...... wondering are there any changes since I last left!

Heard the economy will be worse next year..... and there are about 10,000 pple in Singapore who are currently jobless..... wondering what will happen to them once the economy dipped even further down!......... and more and more fresh new graduates are entering the working world every year..... and the unemployment rate will increase even higher!........ I felt pity for those who got their degree overseas and till now still cant find a job!....... fucking waste so much parent's hard-earned money to go overseas but come back do nothing and be a bummer!........ Such losers!.......... I pity the parent's as well......... to have such loser's children!!

Cant stand it........ some people just like to fucking complain and complain and complain and complain about their life but not doing anything or something about it..... these pple are just fucking losers!!....... If you are not happy with your life then just FUCKING end it!.... GO!! Just DIE!! FUCKING JUST DIE!!!...... Death will be the best solution for you!......We dun need this kind of people in this world!!..... What's the point of complaining and complaining to pple?!?.......... Is it gonna change the better for you? DUMBHEADS!!!

PVD was SUPERB!.......COOL!......... GREAT!......... the money was indeed worth paying for........he is really one of the best DJs in Ministry of Sound .........no wonder fucking jammed packed with people.......even those who bought advanced tickets still had to queue to get in.....SUCKS!......... Re-entry also had to queue....... SUCKS!......... Nearly got lost from frens.......SUCKS!............But overall, still enjoyed myself!

RHCP tonight!! WOOoooo Yay!!

More and more unhappy....... dun know how long this thing can last........ have to act "normal" in people's eyes..... but secretly something is going on..........feel so strange and weird.......... first time ignoring and didnt really talk to him the whole night........ no phone or sms......... pissed with each other......... result of miscommunication............ doesn't feel anything........... dun care man........... now my turn to be "bo chap"!

PVD later tonight!........... RHCP morrow!.......... wow!! Fucking happening man! luckily got the tickets fast.... heard it has been sold out man!!

I always wonder why my colleague looks so stressed when she is in charge of handling the promo for an artiste........ Now I finally understand it!..............becos I have just went through the same situation as her last Friday!!.....I was so stressed planning the promo for them last week.......making sure that they are doing enough interviews for their trip to Singapore......... being meticulous in alot of things especially in whatever the artiste would be needing during the promo and their promo schedule,having to be sure that they are in time for their interviews....... luckily this time, they are not that big in Singapore yet...therefore there were no fans following us around or it will be a big headache for me..... their performance at HRC was fine but there were a few things which cocked up at the last min and I was so stressed up by them that when they were at their next performance at Esplanade, I was in a very depressed and foul mood.....felt like crying........ a few tears did started to flow down from my misty eyes but I tried to control it.......I felt that I have done a bad job in this promo which I'm handling it the first time.......and I badly wanted to prove myself at work......FUCK!!! and I was dam pissed with this promo becos fren was leaving on the same day as well but I couldnt send him off becos of this FUCKING stupid promo!!! ARRRGHHH!!!!! kept really quiet for the rest of their performance.... didnt want to talk to anyone.......super bad mood!

Anyway, went down to wine-bar after the whole promo ended with colleagues...... dam crowded as usual.....managed to find a seat after standing for quite awhile and my legs were aching in pain......drank two lychee martini (becos it's one for one for media =p), got quite high abit....... ate a hotdog........and felt much better.......went for supper....... walked the night through......talked rubbish with one another.......laughter........ fun.........and eventually ended up at Istana Park....... weird!

Fren has finally left after a week holiday here..... couldnt send him off on his departure day becos of work but he did came by at HRC to say goodbye....... I only managed to get a day off to accompany him...... But it has been a very stressful and busy for me last week trying to find time to bring him around Singapore and at the same time, managing my hectic work....... this is the "thrill" that I have to pay for...... spent quite alot on cabs as well to meet him and then back home in order to save time...... Actually I didnt really bring him around much for sight-seeing....... supposed to bring him to Sentosa but in the end he went there himself!......... felt abit bad about it....... I was too tired and by the time I met up with him, it was already in the late evenings as I gotta work during the day....... moreover, the weather was quite bad last week.....had been raining quite abit......... But I must say he was pretty smart about travelling around Singapore - he knew how to get to the MRT station from his hotel, buying the farecard and using the MRT, exploring Orchard Road, went to Sentosa, Chinese Gardens and Woodlands and finding his way back to his hotel........ bearing in mind that this is the FIRST time that he comes to Singapore and he did all these all by HIMSELF!!........But I did bring him to a few places like the Esplanade, Fullerton One, East Coast Beach etc.........and I even brought him to a game arcade (he loves playing games) to play "Crazy Taxi" and he beat me! Damn! But I beat him at "Daytona"! grin.....

brought him to eat Chinese, Malay, Japanese, Thai and Indonesian Food...... he has tried Hainese Chicken Rice, Satay, Tom Yum Soup, Sushi, Curry, Stingray etc..... it's so cute to see him using chopsticks (btw, he's an ang moh)........ and there is this time where he kept ordering and drank so much lime juice (he cant get any lime juice in UK) becos he was all heat up by the curry that he had eaten.......and I asked him why dont he get an ice water instead and he told me the lime juice was so nice that it doesnt matter as long it can cure his hotness laf.........We talked alot about our different culture, society and government as well..... It's really interesting and funny to learn from each other about these stuffs..... he joked that will the police catch him if he litters in Singapore and all men in Singapore carry a guy just becos they went to NS! laf........ He commented that Singapore is such a nice, clean, safe and warm country, totally different from UK........ felt abit sad though after he left..... he is such a sweet, kind, smart and polite guy! He got me a nice bracelet and some other stuffs from UK and most of the time, he paid for my food and drinks..... It will be another long time which I will see him again.... sigh......

Dad agreed to buy a new comp for me..... I have been talking about getting a new comp for a long time but till now I still havent got one yet sigh......mainly becos I got no money to get a good one myself (I dun wanna rely on my parents' money intially)...... then mum finally told dad about my recent activities - coming home late, sleeping late but waking up early in the mornings and having stressful and sickly face (which it was due to my studies as she thought I was out at fren's place doing my assignment becos my current comp was too slow) and Dad told me a few days ago about my activities and asked me to go and get a new comp which he will pay for it grin........ YAY!! FINALLY! Anyway I'm came back late not becos I was out doing my assignment, it was due to other reasons...... BUT I DID stayed up late at home to study and did my assignment a few times...... well, the late nights are all worth it I guess! grin.....

Anyway the buying of the new comp triggered a ticked off from my dad..... he was saying I had become so isolated from the family now - always pulling a long face, hiding in my room whenever I'm at home, bottling up my problems from them and giving rude answers whenever my parents ask me a question..... he said he didnt know what I was doing outside at all now becos I simply didnt want to communicate to them at all..... just like when I want to get a new comp, I didnt tell him till my mum told him about it..... I really dont know what's wrong with me now....... I simply doesnt feel like talking to them.....and whenever they talk to me, I feel very irritated and pissed up........most of my frens can really communicate well with their parents but for me, I found it rather hard and strange..... What's wrong with me man?!?!...... his ticked off nearly made me wanted to cry.... but I controlled my tears..... he said that my sister cared for the family so much now but I'm so different from her...... Fuck la.... if she's better than me then be it man.... I dont care... This is just me..... anyway it doesnt make any difference if I did exist in the family... I just want to be left alone at home..... I just dun feel like talking or miggling around.... and I HATE anyone who NAGS at me at my ears!! SHUT UP!!!

My exams last week was a BIG screwed up! The university changed the format and the questions of the exams last min without informing us.... I got a rude shocked when I saw the papers! Asking us to do a prosposal within 3 hrs with another 2 essay questions to go??..... What the hell!..... classmates were complaining about it after the exams...... I relied totally on the tips that the lecturer gave us and didnt study much from the notes (anyway I studied at the last min grin...) ..... the lecturer was so confident that the tips was really going to come out for the exams but in the end it was a surprised for us..... anyway received emails frm classmates recently that they might want to lodge a complaint to the school.... I'm totally supportive of it..... I'm really afraid of my result..... worst of all, I might did rather badly in my second assignment.... firstly, I'm not sure how to write it...... needs to use alot of thinking and reading to come up with the strategies, problems, solutions and evaluations.....and secondly, I'm waste so much time in thinking, partying and "nuaing" that I handed it late.... which I hope they wont deduct any marks for it as this might pull down my marks especially since the exams is fucked up....... I'm really praying hard this time.....God Bless!

It's getting so near now! I cant believe it!! After the long wait, the day is finally here! But I'm not getting excited about it! Strange..... I was initially but now it doesn't seems to have any effect on me..... probably I have been too busy to think about it..... or maybe I'm enjoying my current life to even bother to think about it............or maybe.......hmm......... arrgh...... I dont know man! What is wrong with me!!

Mind not working..... Body feels tired..... concussed without knowing.....can only blame it on the 4 letter word! It's not the famous 4 letter word - F*** which is so widely used by all the muggards ........ Well..........its............................ TGIT!!!

Fucking CB! Spent so much and in the end got a different hair colour that I want.... Stupid hairstylist.... dont ever want to go back there again!! Dam pissed.... supper pissed..... NBCCB! Cant spent anymore money on hair again!

My body feels so lethargy.... 2 more days to go..... cant believe it! Holding on good..... hanging on strong...... that's the way to succeed!

Singaporeans are so typically predicted and kiasu.... whenever a new "IN" thing is out in the market, everyone will go grab it .... or worse still, if the thing is FREE, you will not be surprised that people actually queue overnight or wake up in the wee hours of the morning even before the shop actually opens to be the first one to get the thing......Cant stand all of these shits man!....... And now Harry Potter is just out for a few days and all the tickets in cinemas are already sold out! Gosh! This is so scary!! Everyone just want to be the first to catch it..... I dun understand man..... what's the difference if you catch it now or later?!?..... Just so you can brag around if you watch it first?.... This is stupid man! I'm going to wait till all the hype about Harry Potter has gone and watch it without all the Kia-Su-ism pple!!

Yaa...Hooo..... I FINALY bought a SWATCH skin watch for myself!! grin....... I have been longing and wanting to get a skin watch for a long time.... but I always cant save enuf cash to get it.... Swatch skin watch is especially getting more and more expensive nowadays man......... After working for so hard (sometimes you feel motivated to work hard becos at the end of the day, you know that you have the monetary to look forward to), I decided to pamper myself and get one yesterday! It's a few bucks cheaper than the actual one that I like...... Doesnt really matter anyway........ I think this design is nice too...... I will probably get the other one another time...... I can now "throw" away my current watch bought by my ex bf and wore my new watch to present my new lease of life!! grin.....

It's been a long time again.... my life is getting busier and busier....so many things happening at the same time.... a long time fren will be back for holdiay from Oz next week.... a far away fren will be visiting soon..... work load getting heavier and heavier with so many projects on hand..... assignment's date-line and exams getting nearer and nearer........frens have been telling me "your life is so happening nowadays!"........ "Happening?!".... Yeah Right!

Hmm.... very late nights for the past few days....... havent been home for dinner for awhile....... mum has been calling and asking what's happening.......lesser and lesser sleep...... but body is still hanging on strong and enjoying the moment.......... how bizarre!! Anyway weekend is finally here again!!..... I guess I shall be replenishing myself with plenty of my beauty sleep for this weekend.......

HARRY POTTER is going to be out next week!!! YAY!!!! Cant wait for it to be shown!! Has been anticipating for the movie to come out for a long time.... I'm sure "The Chamber of Secrets" will even be much better than "The Socerer's Stone".... especially The Quidditch Match grin... have finished reading the 4 books from J.K Rowling long time ago...... will be waiting enthusiastically for the 5th book to come out....Aw man! Bring me into the Magical World of the Wizards......

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Hmm.... wanted to learn and have my own guitar....it's a little dream that I always hope it will come true........

BUSY!! BUSY!! BUSY!! My life was so busy for the past few days... didnt get enuf sleep.... not to mentioned the time to bitch in my blog...... was staying out very late too.... only got to sleep in the mornings..... but it was fun and enjoyable! Didnt have such a life for a long time.... what was superb was I broke my all time record of waking up at 6 in the evening on Saturday!!! grin.... cant blame me though.... I didnt went home after I finished work at 1 am on Friday though my legs were aching due to the long standing of my job......still managed to find the energy to meet someone and spent the whole night with him even I gotta rush to work at 7am..... I was thinking what the heck! I might as well dont sleep for the whole night becos I knew that if I went home to sleep, I might not be able to wake up for work....so I might as well tolerate my tireness and went through everything......... hence, came home at 6 plus, bath and rush out for work again....and only managed to come back around 10 plus in the morning which I totally concussed!!.... and that's not the end..... after waking up at 6 plus on Saturday's evening, went to a fren's barbecue and AGAIN! I stayed up the whole night! grin...... I wanted to go home to rest around 3 am in the morning but I was having so much fun - Barbecure, Went Changi to see "Ah Kua", Drinks, Some adventure at Changi Hospital (I didnt went in... I was too timid...grin...) ....... that I forgo my sleep again and eventually went back to his place again to watch VCD!! Wat a life man! I've been staying out for 2 conservative nights!! Amazing!!

And now after all the tireness and fun, I have to finish my first part of my school assignment now!! FUCK! sigh..... By hood or crook, I have to get it done by today.... Back to work now! Later!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Eerie Eerie Night!! Woooo.....
Gotta work late today.... but the night will be waiting for me to get the party started..... drinks yesterday! maybe today! and definately morrow!

STUDY! STUDY!! STUDY!!! I need to STUDY!! Time is running out for me.... date-line is coming soon... I only got about a week left to hand in my first assignment...... and I havent even started anything at all! Man!! This is very very bad! Where the hell is my MOTIVATION!!

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Why is it that guys always think that gals are lousy drivers? What made them think that they will be a better one? This is so unfair and prejudice!! Guys are definately more reckless than gals when comes to driving.... see the way they curse, swear, swirl and turn the car whenever some drivers block their way..... they dont even practice safe driving at all! This is why guys are always involved in car accident more often than gals!! I think they are just too ego to admit the fact that we gals are much better than them now..... Ya-Ya!!

Was invited to a party last Friday night at a club with my colleagues.... had a hell of a good times there.... really enjoyed myself.... didnt knew that my colleagues were such fun pple outside work.....we had our first round of drinks (FREE-FLOW!!) whereby another of my female colleague and I were feeling abit high after that.... I kept laughing and oggling at the Guest DJ (ang moh DJ!!! woooo.... grin...) where he came over to talk to us....... and then went to Swensons for dinner!!! (one of my colleagues treated us!) grin..... It's been a long time since I last went there to eat...... we wanted to share the earthquarke ice-cream but in the end all of us were so bloated by the drinks and meals that we had to forgo the Swenson's speciality! Hah!! Perhaps no fate to eat it that day!
Anyway, went back for the second round of drinks and to catch the DJ spinning ....this time no more free-flow..... but I still didnt have to pay for the drinks!! grin..... that's why gals always have the advantage!!! grin....By way past midnight, I was already tipsy! My head was hurting and my mind was just spinning round and round plus the loud blasting music in the background exaggerated it even more.... I felt liked I was high on drugs.....so all I did was just sitting down on the couch and stoned! I even have trouble to go to the toilet.... Luckily my colleagues were around to take care of me.... I must really thank them! Anyway, it really didnt felt good to be drunk! Went back with a headache and felt dehydrated the next day! Worse still, rashes developed on my legs!! I always get rashes whenever I drank too much!! I have better watch my drinking the next time...

Heh! I just coloured my hair again!! Cant remember how many times I have coloured it this year.... but then the colour always fade and dropped off after awhile and changed back to my original hair colour again which made me damn pissed.... I'm not using professional service to do the colouring..... Basically I just D-I-Y (Do-It-Yourself) which is so much cheaper grin..... anyway, this time I bought the colour "Blackcurrent" which is supposed to be Purplish Black.... but in the end...I turned out to be a Brunette AGAIN! Arrrgh!!!.......I wanted to get a Purple colour but then the colour always dont appeared on my hair!! I think I'm going to change my colour again in a few weeks time.... I'm sick of being a brunette.... Last month I also had the same results when I tried to colour my hair to a different colour...... AND I stained some of my nails when doing the colouring (though I'm wearing the gloves provided!) and they couldnt be washed off...... Fuck man!! damn pissed up!! sigh..... Probably I really have to get those professional service to help me to do it the next time.....I'm just.... INEXPERIENCED!

I think I have sortta straightened out my thinking..... I'm not going to get involved in any relationships....not at the moment I think.... Though sometimes I do feel nostalgia whenever I'm reminded of my past, I'm just scared of getting hurt and experiencing pain again .... I have made a mistake of demanding and trusting too much in a relationship..... I guess I shouldnt be so demanding then....There is always some kind of commitments in a relationship.... and I'm really afraid of this commitment thing now.... it's too dangerous to commit too much and I think it's best not to be committed at all if you are not ready to take up this big huge repsonsibility....... I have learnt my lesson ...... I will just enjoy meeting new guys and be in the company of different guys with no strings attached kind.... this will be much easier for me.....Ya-Ya!

My "craving" for Caucasian guys has been getting stronger and stronger.... My mind is filled with images of being with an ang moh..... I have been eyeing at the ang mohs rather than the typical Singaporean guys nowadays and I noticed that there are quite a number of women in Singapore being in the arms of ang mohs...and it made me felt kindda envious and jealous.....last weekend, while catching a film, I saw this gal who looked damn familiar and after closer look, realised that she used to be in the same poly as me and she had an ang moh bf (who is kindda cute)!! How in the hell did she find an ang moh!! She got this "Chee-Nah" looking face and crude to say, she isnt pretty at all but she managed to get such a cute bf!! Gosh!! this is so unfair!! I think I definately looks much better than her man!! Sorry to be so arrogant...I just cant figure out what did the ang moh see in her!! hmm.... really makes me wonder man...... and yesterday night, I saw another Singaporean woman with an ang moh AGAIN! Shit man!! Where did these women find all these ang mohs!! I really want to know to satisfy my temptations!! grin Please dont called me an S-P-G becos I dont wear Sarong!! laf

I havent been blogging for the past few days and thus there are a few things that I want to bitch it out. today...
Lava Lamp
I finally received a lava lamp from a fren of mine in UK a few days ago. The lamp was supposed to be for my birthday present (which was like two weeks ago) but becos of the slowness in the delivery in UK etc.... it finally got on the plane and flown all the way over mountains and hills to reach my hand at last! I was so elated when I got the lamp... I have always wanted to get a lava lamp.....and he had especially asked me to choose the color and design that I wanted from the site that he was ordering the lamp for me! Such a sweet guy he is! grin... Anyway my design is called Astro and it's in violet/red color.... check out this site for a clearer picture of my lamp
MATHMOS
Well just when I thought I can groove up my room with this retro and groovedelic lamp, the bulb was busted after a few mins of heating up the lava! What the fuck!! I was totally stunned and puzzled! Later on I found out that apparently, the voltage in UK is different from Singapore and hence this might cause the bulb to overheat .... Oh well! I guess I have to get a new compatible voltage bulb to replace it before I can bring it on again!

Visit
It's confirmed! My fren will be flying all the way from UK to visit me soon as promised! Hippieee.... grin.... His trip has been held up for some reasons... but I'm glad he's finally coming!! I'm really looking forward to his visit! Cant wait man! grin... BUT I need to do some planning before he comes... I think I might need to take few days off to bring him out and show him around... and I need to plan his agenda.... where shld I bring him?? hmm.... Zoo? Jurong Bird Park? Science Centre? Musuem? Sentosa?? Night Safari?? Haa! never know that Singapore has so many places of interest! laf... It's been such a looooonnng time since I last visit these places! It's time to update myself!!

TEH wat?
Went out for prata and Teh with frens yesterday night... nearly made a fool of myself! I always get confused with Teh-O-Peng and Teh-Peng.... These 2 drinks are just different with a "O" in the middle... I always prefer to drink Teh-O-Peng (which is Ice Tea in English)... and yesterday night while we were ordering drinks, one of my frens wanted a Teh-Peng and I thought Teh-Peng was the same as Teh-O-Peng so I told him I wanted the same one too! After we have just ordered our drinks, I dun know what hit upon me (probably it's my sixth sense) that I might have ordered the wrong drink... so I checked with my guy fren and he explained to me that Teh-Peng is Milk Tea with Ice whereas Teh-O-Peng is just Ice with Tea!! Realising my blunder, I quickly ran over and asked the drinks uncle to change my order to TEH-O-PENG! Luckily the uncle had not made my drink yet or I would have to take the TEH-Peng! How blur I was!! laf.... My guy frens were all laughing at me and they asked me whether I am a typical Singaporean who is born and breed here! I felt so embarrassed!! Anyhow, I also learnt that there are TEH-Si and TEH-Ginger.... Man!! Just a TEH alone can come up with so many different kinds of drinks! I think I better get these all these TEH drinks embedded in my mind... I dun wanna made a fool out of myself again!

My stomach is filled with Long Island Tea, Volka and Bourbon now... and my lungs are deeply polluted with dark smoke which are inhaled from my mouth.... Been drinking and fagging alot for the past few days.... NO! I'm NOT an alcoholic!! I have always not like to drink and I cant hold my liquor well too ...... but I dun know what came into me recently which made me started to drink so much ....... I guess I just want to drink to forget all the troubles, hurt and pain that I have been feeling...... I just wanna get high and drunk after which I would just break down and cry....... till I fell asleep.... and woke up feeling weird and with puffy eyes...... Not only that, I have been fagging really alot too.... Oh well, I am a fagger...... but I dun really smoke that much before compared to what I am doing now....... I want to try to smoke less........ but it's just increasing and increasing at this stage that I cant stop myself..... this is shitty! I'm totally messed up! I dun know how I can stop all these.... I'm too deeply hurt! and that's why I want to run away to somewhere far away...and leave all my sad memories behind.....I need to leave this place as soon as possible....I need to heal myself!
Well, I have decided to defer my course till I'm more ready to do so... I totally have no motivation or mood to study now... I'm too emotional and vunlerable at this stage...... Work is starting to get stressful for me.... depression is still in me..... my life is in an unstable stage.....I cant really concentrate on my study.... I need to heal myself first before I resume my course.....I dun blame anyone.... I just blame myself for the messy state that I'm in.... I just hate myself!

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Damn! was planning to get a tanned yesterday afternoon... but in the end, the weather turned against me! I thought it would be a hot and sunny day (just like the previous afternoon) but turned out the sky was cloudy.... hazy.. and the sun was not shinning bright enough! Sucks! Just when I make a point to wake up early on a Sunday and a chance for me to wear my bikini again?? Oh well, in the end, the weather spoilt my mood and I relaxed in the pool, played with water, people gazing and did abit of swimming... Ah! talking about swimming, it's been a while since I last swam! Though I didnt really swam much today (nua-ing more rather than swim... grin) but at least I DID swam! grin

Anyway, I just found out from a fren that one of the supermarkets sells my favourite Ozzy's brand of biscuit "LANES"!! YAY!!! I finally can get it in Singapore now!! I was so in love with this biscuit when I was in Oz.. ate it almost everyday and even bought a few packets back after that! I love especially the "Chicken" flavour but they dont have it in Singapore...anyhow, I bought the other flavours which I think will be very nice as well! grin.. Snacking Time!

It's been a tiring but enjoyable day for me today... oops... should be yesterday cos it's already Sunday! Been out since morning.... almost couldnt get out of my bed when I woke up becos I was out till late the previous night (though I knew that I have to work the next morning) and I have only slept for hmm... 3 HOURS!! (by the way, I also have the habit of nua-ing in bed every morning grin)... Been having lesser and lesser sleep nowadays... I'm worried I might lose my conscious one of these days!
Anyhow, I went Jb with frens after work..... it's such a HOT weather yesterday afternoon!! I was almost roasted and burnt!! It was 40 degrees mind you!! Happened to check the temperature in my fren's car and though the air-con in the car was in full blast, it's was still warm inside!! There wasnt much jam at the Singapore's custom but it was packed with cars when we are going to the Malaysian customs! We wanted to avoid the jamming by going in earlier but in the end we still have to wait like 20 mins before we are FINALY into Jb!! Gosh! I was super tired in the car and I dozed off slightly while waiting... Didnt really shop much cos there are nothing much for me to buy there... most of my money are spent on food, drinks, fags and.... VCDs!!! grin Well the VCDs there are real cheap and it's such a waste not to get them (though I know it's illegal! sshhh.... dun tell anyone! grin).... Oh ya! I bought some pirated computer software and a compilation rock cd (cost only 6 ringgit! Heee Haaa... super dopper cheap!)... the songs in the album are pretty good... there's Silver Chair, Default, Coldplay, New Found Glory, The Hives, Goo Goo Dolls, Puddle of Mad and etc etc... so many of my favourite rock band!!! What a steal man!! grin
Anyway, there is another thing you DEFINATELY must not miss is the SEAFOOD! We had such a sumptious and delicious dinner and total we only spent 21 ringgit which is equivalent to S$10 on food! Hooo.... Yeah!! Ok.. here's the list of dishes that we have eaten:
1) Chilli Crabs
2) Clayport Salmon
3) Thai Fried Chicken
4) Sampan Pandan Leaf
5) Deep-fried Oatmeal's Lobster
6) Stingray
Plus additional items : Fried Oyster and Chee Cheong Fan (this is one of our favourite becos the Chee Cheong Fan is so soft and smooth and tasted like those HK's dim-sum style and it's cheaper!)
We will definately go back again soon!! Sometimes I think it's better to go somewhere else during the weekends instead of hanging in Singapore becos there's nothing much to do here... can only nua and nua and nua and nua... which is my specialty!! laf
Well, we reach Singapore around 11 plus... and this time was jammed at the Singapore's custom!! Arrghh.... waste another lot of time in waiting again! went to a 24 hrs Kopitiam after coming back to NUA!! Haa! See! Can only NUA in Singapore!! laf Talked alot of rubbish and cock... had some Teh-O Peng! I was super tired and I'm trying to keep myself awake by talking rubbish!! laf... but overall, it was fun!! I havent had such fun for quite awhile...

Fuck! it's almost 7 am in the morning and I'm still awake! I'm really tired earlier but now I cant sleep! Arrrrggghh.... What's wrong with me man!! There must be something wrong in my body system!! I'm not getting enough sleep but I dun feel sleepy now!! Wat the fuck!!
I can feel it again....depressed is still in me... How did a thing that started happy and nice ended in such a way? Those things that I have sacrificed and done so much doenst meant a thing at all! I realised what a hypocrite is! Someone who says something but do another....Things are still not settled and will not be settled till some sortings are done! Things can end in a nicer way... but I'm hurt becos it is not and I have been treated likewise as a toy without any feelings! No asking of any questions... have to keep quiet and let the owner play with it as and when he likes and feels to! What a dumb toy! Oh well, toy is DUMB anyway!
Off to sleep..Off to sleep...Off to sleep... off to sleep.... zzzzzz......

EXHAUSTED!! That's what I'm feeling now! I can never get enough sleep and rest.... and that's why I'm always so listless and tired especially in the morning! I'm just talking rubbish now... my mind is in a mess and in a world of my own now! Pardon me!!

hmm....... I've been thinking about this for awhile - to get out of here and live and work in somwhere far away ... there's basically nothing here for me to stay on..... I'm sick of my life... I'm sick of everyone... too many sad memories.... too competitive and stressful ..... I need to go somewhere to experience another new kind of life... I'm looking at some possibilities.... hopefully by end of the year I will be off.....

FUCK!! Damn busy these few days!! Lots of things to do at work!! I cant imagine when I start my new module!! It will going be hell for me!! Arrgh!!! But anyway gonna meet the people from SPH today! There is a new cd album releasing and I need to ask them to do a review for it!! Hope the meeting turns out fine!

Anyway, I just received the result for my last module - and I got a CREDIT! Heee Haaa!!! I'm so happy when I saw that! I have been worried about the result becos the exams was a big screwed up!! Some of the questions were not even within the context of the text! Well I'm finally relieved now!! grin BUT... I'm not done yet....there are 8 modules more to go! FUCK!! Oh well... so far my results are not too bad... so I just need to buck up abit more and finally can get a DEGREE!!!! Actually what's the big fuck about getting it, there are sooooo....many degree graduates in the market now - some of them are still unemployed and some earn so fucking little though they are a GRADUATE!!! I think what counts is the working experience you had..that's the most important thing! AH! maybe I shld just quit my course now! hmm....It's just a stupid worthless paper for me!! ...such a competitive and cruel society!

Have you ever been hurt badly by someone? The pain the person has done to you just pierced through yr heart and leave yr heart torned and deeply scarred... That's what I'm experiencing now! I'm in pain.... depression hits me again..... I'm in agony....I need to get over this period of hurt and depression...This is so hard especially at this stage...I hope time can heal my pain and soul! I need to move on and start a brand new life! I really need to...It's worthless to be like this becos of some motherfucker asshole! Some asshole with a cold hearted blood - no emotions and feelings who dun appreciate me, always taking me for granted and worse still - talked bad about me behind my back .... all this while he has been treating me like a toy all the time....such a fucking bastard still exist in this world... and I'm the victim of his cruel and brutal massacre! I was dumb to fall for his trap... how blindless I could be... to be deceived by his decent looks and blackspecs...

I dont feel the same
Everything has started to change
And I dun know
Just what to do
How can I make it right
Just closed my eyes and say goodnite
No painful days and sleepless nights
That dont ever make things right
But I will make it right
Gonna make it right

Besides the pain that I'm having now, I miss someone far away badly too! I wish he can be with me here to make me feel better!! If only he's living here....sigh.... he's so much better than the bastard! he makes me feel warmed and loved...showering me with his care and concern....and most importantly, he wouldnt hurt me ... I hope he really will visit me soon as promised... it would definately meant alot to me...

25/9/2002
It's been the 3rd day of my new job and I'm still clueless about alot of stuffs which I'm supposed to do! I guess it will take some time for me to learn and get to know the things which I will be doing... however, I did meet up with a lot of pple from the media industry...that's the part which I enjoy about my job...able to meet and know the media pple - exchanging name cards and doing some PR with them...though I'm dun really like to do PR (cos I think it's damn fake and plastic - putting on a big smile (even if you dun like the person) and entertain them, but it's part of my job so I guess I cant run away from it! sigh...
Anyway my new colleagues are fine..they seems a nice bunch of people... I will slowly get to know them more as the days go by... hopefully I will be able to get along well with them! Well my boss will be bringing me down to the radio and tv ad production hse to let me know how the production of our albums' ads are being produced and made...guess there will be more pple to meet up again...grin sounds cool isnt it? well I hope so...

Time is moving so fast! My birthday has just passed in a glance... I cant believe I'm in my mid twenties now! sigh There are so many things that I havent accomplished in my life yet... this is really sad indeed! so many things and yet so little time... I wish I can go back to my younger days where life is so carefree and fun...where I'm so naive and innocent...and where my inner mind and soul are not experiencing worries, stress and depression.... sigh There are so many expectations and responsibilities in life as you get older...
Well I had a quiet birthday celebration this year... just had dinner with a few close frens of mine.. didnt go clubbing or anything too... I just dun have the mood to do any hoo-haa celebrations for my birthday this year... I think as you grow older, you would not be excited about your birthday... it just comes to a point where having birthday celebration is meaningless...sigh...

Anyway, I finally bought the new album by Coldpay - " A Rush of Blood To The Head"! I have been contemplating for quite awhile whether to get it and today while I was at MPH (Mad People House), I have this insanity in me that shot to my head which I just grabbed the cd and paid for it (without any thinking at all).. well when my sanity shook me back to reality, I didnt regret it... it was worth it! The album was great! I guess sometimes insanity helps me to make a better decision! grin

Oh well, weekend is over again! Tomorrow I will be starting my first day at work in my new job... I hope it dun sucks for me... usually first day at work can be very dull and boring...I'm afraid of what I will be experiencing morrow... hmm... I still havent think of what to wear for morrow! shucks! I will have to search through my wardrobe for a nice set of clothes...time to crack my head again! shucky!!

HeeHaa!! So many things has been happening in my life for the past few days. I have just been offer a new job and will be starting work on Monday!! Gosh!! I cant believe this is happening so fast! I'm still kindda stress over looking for a new job last week becos I'm really sick of my current one and suddenly the opportunity just came in a flash! I'm feeling elated but at the same time scared of my new job sigh... Why am I feeling in such a dilemma state!! Cum'on! I shouldnt be thinking too much about it. It's the job that is so related to what I have studied and interested in and moreover, it's 1) so fucking near to my house - just 10-15 mins walk to my work place from home. 2) The working hours is 10.00 am to 6.00 pm Hoo Yeah!! I am not a morning person and I always hate to wake up early in the morning and from monday onwards, I do not have to wake up so early in the morning anymore! 3) the dress code is quite flexible and I can get to wear my causal clothes almost everyday except when there's events or meetings that I have to attend! All these sound too good to be true! How wonderful!

Anyway my birthday is just tomorrow!! I'm turning 25!!! Oh My God!!! I'm getting old! This sucks man! How I wish I can remain 21 always! I always want to stay at 21 rather than 18! I guess 21 is the age where you have finished your study and start to plan and do big things in your life plus this is the legal age where you can buy your own house! grin... Oh man! I dun have the power to turn back the clock to be 21 again! Anyone knows how to make a time machine?? grin

15/9/2002
It's 7 am in the morning now and I'm still fully awake! Cant get back to sleep after having slept (or probably a short nap) for 5 hrs earlier! I fell asleep earlier at around 11 plus and woke up at 4 am in the morning! and I felt so strange and weird when I woke up! I thought that I have to work the next day and I'm thinking what the fuck I'm waking up at such a weird hour! and suddenly it hit on me that it's SATURDAY! gosh! What am I thinking man! guess work stress is getting on me!

Well leeds won against Man U today! Aw man!! I cant believe it! Man U is really down on their luck lately! Leeds is really getting better this season! They have won the previous match against Newcastle and now they have beaten Man U! It's so unbeliveable! I'm not really that into EPL (English Premier League) but this match just gets me so interested in it. Oh well, Leeds won and I'm so sad becos I'm hoping Man U awill win! I hope they will do much better in their next match!

14/9/2002
I have been down on my luck lately! Everything is going so wrong for me! My laptop was spoilt and when I thought I still have my old pc to depend on, its keyboard turned its back on me and I have to get a new keyboard to replace it. Plus, I bought a new external modem from Sim Lim the other day, to be installed in my pc, thinking that it will help to increase the speed of my internet access (my current internal modem is fucking super slow), and the modem just couldnt work! I'm still trying to figure out what's the problem and I still couldnt solve it! ARRGH!! Worse still, I have to spend alot of money on getting my laptop fixed up plus the money that have already spent in getting a new keyboard and modem! Aw! I feel so despondent and despair! I want a new pc!! I need a new pc! I long for a new pc! This is my message to god:
My dear almighty god,
I have always been a nice and good gal and I havent done anything bad or wrong in my life. Please be kind to me and take pity on this poor little girl by granting me my wish of getting a new pc! I WILL promise to do more good deeds to repay you! Amen.

10/9/2002
ARRGH!!!! I'm so frustrated! My stupid dumb pc betrayed me last night!! The first time it crashed (about a month ago) and now the monitor went blank!! Arrgh!!! I felt like smashing it into broken pieces!! Why does it always have to die on me?? Anyway I think my monitor is spoilt. I dun know what happened and I need to bring it to Sim Lim for servicing. Hopefully it doesnt cost me a bomb! and hopefully it still have some sanity to be normal again! There's so many things I wanna do together with my pc but now I cant do them! Fucking Hell!!! Arrrghh!!!! I dun know what I'm going to do tonite without my dumb pc around!! Arrghhh!!!

Anyway I'm using my office's pc to update my blog now! sigh... oopss.. time to knock off!! i need to rush off to Sim Lim now! Later man!

7/9/2002
Hip hip Hooray!! Weekend is here! It always feel so good to be the weekend simply becos you know that you doens't have to wake up early the next day for work! I'm a lazy person and I always find it so hard to wake up early in the morning! Although I love the sun and shine, but i'm always restless during the day but hyper-active at night! I guess I'm the daughter of the evil darkness who likes to roam around actively at night - looking for preys! *grin* ... anyone wanna sacrifice themselves?? *evil grin*

Anyhow, I just received a letter from M1 that I have 4000 plus points in my M1 sunperk rewards!! Wow!! Unbelievable!! These 4000 points means that I have spent around 4000 bucks on my phone bills for the past 1 year!! Gosh! This is so amazing! Well I guess I'm really a heavy mobile phone user and M1 must be really earning fucking lots of money from customers like me! Oh well! I guess I have to think of which rewards I will like to redeem thru my points and make full use of this reward system!

5/9/2002
Yipee!! I bought a new pair of Levis's hipster jeans today! I have been "eyeing" this jeans for quite awhile and I dun know what hit me today which make me decided to buy it! woooahhh!! Probably I guess I wanna pamper myself.... I have always been a shopaholic but I havent bought anything since last week. I used to be an impulsive buyer but now I'm more careful of what I'm buying. Though this jeans cost me quite a bomb, but come to think of it, it's LEVIS which says "Quality Never Goes Out of Style". Well I hope it truly lives up to its name.

Anyway, I went to HMV to check out the new Coldplay's album after getting my Levis jeans. Besides the hit single "In Your Place" which have been tuning in my head since I first heard on the radio, there are a few songs (i cant remember the title) which are quite good too. hmm.... should I get the album?? I also checked out the album by The Vines and I would say that they are definately another great UK's rock band! All the songs in the album are damn good! Aw!! Now I'm in a dilemma! Should I get Coldplay or The Vines?? hmm.....or maybe....hmm..... I should just get both? hmm.....tough decision though! But i cant spend too much money this month... Yark!!

14/8/2002
Why do men like to lie to women? I just dun understand it at all! Why cant they just dun the truth? Why cant they be honest? I have been so hurt by all the lyings that i just broke down and cried! I'm always been a cry baby! I cried so easily! I dun know and I dun understand it at all. I wish i can just let it go so easily but i cant.. i dun know why...and dun ask me why...i really have lost all trust and confidence in him... i wish i can see things in a brighter ways... i really hope i can... things would be much easier that way...I just simply cant take it anymore...

19/8/2002
Work is fucking sucky today!!! I wanna get out of my job soon!! this one really sucks!! Not only the job sucks but the people sucks big time too!! I'm always been push to do this and that - "angeline can yo help me do this?" "angeline can you help me do that?" fucking hell!! i wish like telling them "DO IT YOURSELF!! I'm not yr fucking maid!! Whenever I'm in need of help, nobody ever offered a helping hand to help me while I slog and rush and gush like a mad woman to get my things done!! ARRRRGHHH!!! cant take it anymore!!! I'm gonna quickly find a new job and say "BYE" to them!!! I'm waiting for this day to come!!! Hopefully SOON!!!

Anyway, a dear fren of mine bought the 3 in 1 compilation of the LORD of the RING novel for me today!!! YAY!!! Since I have more free time to relax and do my stuffs now (school will only be starting in Septemeber!), I'm gonna start to do some reading to enrich myself!! The last book that I have read is Harry Potter 4 which I have finished reading in early May. Now, I'm going to be a bookworm again and do some sci-fi fantasy of mine!