HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Eerie Eerie Night!! Woooo.....
Gotta work late today.... but the night will be waiting for me to get the party started..... drinks yesterday! maybe today! and definately morrow!

STUDY! STUDY!! STUDY!!! I need to STUDY!! Time is running out for me.... date-line is coming soon... I only got about a week left to hand in my first assignment...... and I havent even started anything at all! Man!! This is very very bad! Where the hell is my MOTIVATION!!

Who's your inner singer-songwriter?

Take the quiz!

Why is it that guys always think that gals are lousy drivers? What made them think that they will be a better one? This is so unfair and prejudice!! Guys are definately more reckless than gals when comes to driving.... see the way they curse, swear, swirl and turn the car whenever some drivers block their way..... they dont even practice safe driving at all! This is why guys are always involved in car accident more often than gals!! I think they are just too ego to admit the fact that we gals are much better than them now..... Ya-Ya!!

Was invited to a party last Friday night at a club with my colleagues.... had a hell of a good times there.... really enjoyed myself.... didnt knew that my colleagues were such fun pple outside work.....we had our first round of drinks (FREE-FLOW!!) whereby another of my female colleague and I were feeling abit high after that.... I kept laughing and oggling at the Guest DJ (ang moh DJ!!! woooo.... grin...) where he came over to talk to us....... and then went to Swensons for dinner!!! (one of my colleagues treated us!) grin..... It's been a long time since I last went there to eat...... we wanted to share the earthquarke ice-cream but in the end all of us were so bloated by the drinks and meals that we had to forgo the Swenson's speciality! Hah!! Perhaps no fate to eat it that day!
Anyway, went back for the second round of drinks and to catch the DJ spinning ....this time no more free-flow..... but I still didnt have to pay for the drinks!! grin..... that's why gals always have the advantage!!! grin....By way past midnight, I was already tipsy! My head was hurting and my mind was just spinning round and round plus the loud blasting music in the background exaggerated it even more.... I felt liked I was high on drugs.....so all I did was just sitting down on the couch and stoned! I even have trouble to go to the toilet.... Luckily my colleagues were around to take care of me.... I must really thank them! Anyway, it really didnt felt good to be drunk! Went back with a headache and felt dehydrated the next day! Worse still, rashes developed on my legs!! I always get rashes whenever I drank too much!! I have better watch my drinking the next time...

Heh! I just coloured my hair again!! Cant remember how many times I have coloured it this year.... but then the colour always fade and dropped off after awhile and changed back to my original hair colour again which made me damn pissed.... I'm not using professional service to do the colouring..... Basically I just D-I-Y (Do-It-Yourself) which is so much cheaper grin..... anyway, this time I bought the colour "Blackcurrent" which is supposed to be Purplish Black.... but in the end...I turned out to be a Brunette AGAIN! Arrrgh!!!.......I wanted to get a Purple colour but then the colour always dont appeared on my hair!! I think I'm going to change my colour again in a few weeks time.... I'm sick of being a brunette.... Last month I also had the same results when I tried to colour my hair to a different colour...... AND I stained some of my nails when doing the colouring (though I'm wearing the gloves provided!) and they couldnt be washed off...... Fuck man!! damn pissed up!! sigh..... Probably I really have to get those professional service to help me to do it the next time.....I'm just.... INEXPERIENCED!

I think I have sortta straightened out my thinking..... I'm not going to get involved in any relationships....not at the moment I think.... Though sometimes I do feel nostalgia whenever I'm reminded of my past, I'm just scared of getting hurt and experiencing pain again .... I have made a mistake of demanding and trusting too much in a relationship..... I guess I shouldnt be so demanding then....There is always some kind of commitments in a relationship.... and I'm really afraid of this commitment thing now.... it's too dangerous to commit too much and I think it's best not to be committed at all if you are not ready to take up this big huge repsonsibility....... I have learnt my lesson ...... I will just enjoy meeting new guys and be in the company of different guys with no strings attached kind.... this will be much easier for me.....Ya-Ya!

My "craving" for Caucasian guys has been getting stronger and stronger.... My mind is filled with images of being with an ang moh..... I have been eyeing at the ang mohs rather than the typical Singaporean guys nowadays and I noticed that there are quite a number of women in Singapore being in the arms of ang mohs...and it made me felt kindda envious and jealous.....last weekend, while catching a film, I saw this gal who looked damn familiar and after closer look, realised that she used to be in the same poly as me and she had an ang moh bf (who is kindda cute)!! How in the hell did she find an ang moh!! She got this "Chee-Nah" looking face and crude to say, she isnt pretty at all but she managed to get such a cute bf!! Gosh!! this is so unfair!! I think I definately looks much better than her man!! Sorry to be so arrogant...I just cant figure out what did the ang moh see in her!! hmm.... really makes me wonder man...... and yesterday night, I saw another Singaporean woman with an ang moh AGAIN! Shit man!! Where did these women find all these ang mohs!! I really want to know to satisfy my temptations!! grin Please dont called me an S-P-G becos I dont wear Sarong!! laf

I havent been blogging for the past few days and thus there are a few things that I want to bitch it out. today...
Lava Lamp
I finally received a lava lamp from a fren of mine in UK a few days ago. The lamp was supposed to be for my birthday present (which was like two weeks ago) but becos of the slowness in the delivery in UK etc.... it finally got on the plane and flown all the way over mountains and hills to reach my hand at last! I was so elated when I got the lamp... I have always wanted to get a lava lamp.....and he had especially asked me to choose the color and design that I wanted from the site that he was ordering the lamp for me! Such a sweet guy he is! grin... Anyway my design is called Astro and it's in violet/red color.... check out this site for a clearer picture of my lamp
MATHMOS
Well just when I thought I can groove up my room with this retro and groovedelic lamp, the bulb was busted after a few mins of heating up the lava! What the fuck!! I was totally stunned and puzzled! Later on I found out that apparently, the voltage in UK is different from Singapore and hence this might cause the bulb to overheat .... Oh well! I guess I have to get a new compatible voltage bulb to replace it before I can bring it on again!

Visit
It's confirmed! My fren will be flying all the way from UK to visit me soon as promised! Hippieee.... grin.... His trip has been held up for some reasons... but I'm glad he's finally coming!! I'm really looking forward to his visit! Cant wait man! grin... BUT I need to do some planning before he comes... I think I might need to take few days off to bring him out and show him around... and I need to plan his agenda.... where shld I bring him?? hmm.... Zoo? Jurong Bird Park? Science Centre? Musuem? Sentosa?? Night Safari?? Haa! never know that Singapore has so many places of interest! laf... It's been such a looooonnng time since I last visit these places! It's time to update myself!!

TEH wat?
Went out for prata and Teh with frens yesterday night... nearly made a fool of myself! I always get confused with Teh-O-Peng and Teh-Peng.... These 2 drinks are just different with a "O" in the middle... I always prefer to drink Teh-O-Peng (which is Ice Tea in English)... and yesterday night while we were ordering drinks, one of my frens wanted a Teh-Peng and I thought Teh-Peng was the same as Teh-O-Peng so I told him I wanted the same one too! After we have just ordered our drinks, I dun know what hit upon me (probably it's my sixth sense) that I might have ordered the wrong drink... so I checked with my guy fren and he explained to me that Teh-Peng is Milk Tea with Ice whereas Teh-O-Peng is just Ice with Tea!! Realising my blunder, I quickly ran over and asked the drinks uncle to change my order to TEH-O-PENG! Luckily the uncle had not made my drink yet or I would have to take the TEH-Peng! How blur I was!! laf.... My guy frens were all laughing at me and they asked me whether I am a typical Singaporean who is born and breed here! I felt so embarrassed!! Anyhow, I also learnt that there are TEH-Si and TEH-Ginger.... Man!! Just a TEH alone can come up with so many different kinds of drinks! I think I better get these all these TEH drinks embedded in my mind... I dun wanna made a fool out of myself again!

My stomach is filled with Long Island Tea, Volka and Bourbon now... and my lungs are deeply polluted with dark smoke which are inhaled from my mouth.... Been drinking and fagging alot for the past few days.... NO! I'm NOT an alcoholic!! I have always not like to drink and I cant hold my liquor well too ...... but I dun know what came into me recently which made me started to drink so much ....... I guess I just want to drink to forget all the troubles, hurt and pain that I have been feeling...... I just wanna get high and drunk after which I would just break down and cry....... till I fell asleep.... and woke up feeling weird and with puffy eyes...... Not only that, I have been fagging really alot too.... Oh well, I am a fagger...... but I dun really smoke that much before compared to what I am doing now....... I want to try to smoke less........ but it's just increasing and increasing at this stage that I cant stop myself..... this is shitty! I'm totally messed up! I dun know how I can stop all these.... I'm too deeply hurt! and that's why I want to run away to somewhere far away...and leave all my sad memories behind.....I need to leave this place as soon as possible....I need to heal myself!
Well, I have decided to defer my course till I'm more ready to do so... I totally have no motivation or mood to study now... I'm too emotional and vunlerable at this stage...... Work is starting to get stressful for me.... depression is still in me..... my life is in an unstable stage.....I cant really concentrate on my study.... I need to heal myself first before I resume my course.....I dun blame anyone.... I just blame myself for the messy state that I'm in.... I just hate myself!

Take the Which Spider-Man Character Are You? quiz by ZyberGoat

Damn! was planning to get a tanned yesterday afternoon... but in the end, the weather turned against me! I thought it would be a hot and sunny day (just like the previous afternoon) but turned out the sky was cloudy.... hazy.. and the sun was not shinning bright enough! Sucks! Just when I make a point to wake up early on a Sunday and a chance for me to wear my bikini again?? Oh well, in the end, the weather spoilt my mood and I relaxed in the pool, played with water, people gazing and did abit of swimming... Ah! talking about swimming, it's been a while since I last swam! Though I didnt really swam much today (nua-ing more rather than swim... grin) but at least I DID swam! grin

Anyway, I just found out from a fren that one of the supermarkets sells my favourite Ozzy's brand of biscuit "LANES"!! YAY!!! I finally can get it in Singapore now!! I was so in love with this biscuit when I was in Oz.. ate it almost everyday and even bought a few packets back after that! I love especially the "Chicken" flavour but they dont have it in Singapore...anyhow, I bought the other flavours which I think will be very nice as well! grin.. Snacking Time!

It's been a tiring but enjoyable day for me today... oops... should be yesterday cos it's already Sunday! Been out since morning.... almost couldnt get out of my bed when I woke up becos I was out till late the previous night (though I knew that I have to work the next morning) and I have only slept for hmm... 3 HOURS!! (by the way, I also have the habit of nua-ing in bed every morning grin)... Been having lesser and lesser sleep nowadays... I'm worried I might lose my conscious one of these days!
Anyhow, I went Jb with frens after work..... it's such a HOT weather yesterday afternoon!! I was almost roasted and burnt!! It was 40 degrees mind you!! Happened to check the temperature in my fren's car and though the air-con in the car was in full blast, it's was still warm inside!! There wasnt much jam at the Singapore's custom but it was packed with cars when we are going to the Malaysian customs! We wanted to avoid the jamming by going in earlier but in the end we still have to wait like 20 mins before we are FINALY into Jb!! Gosh! I was super tired in the car and I dozed off slightly while waiting... Didnt really shop much cos there are nothing much for me to buy there... most of my money are spent on food, drinks, fags and.... VCDs!!! grin Well the VCDs there are real cheap and it's such a waste not to get them (though I know it's illegal! sshhh.... dun tell anyone! grin).... Oh ya! I bought some pirated computer software and a compilation rock cd (cost only 6 ringgit! Heee Haaa... super dopper cheap!)... the songs in the album are pretty good... there's Silver Chair, Default, Coldplay, New Found Glory, The Hives, Goo Goo Dolls, Puddle of Mad and etc etc... so many of my favourite rock band!!! What a steal man!! grin
Anyway, there is another thing you DEFINATELY must not miss is the SEAFOOD! We had such a sumptious and delicious dinner and total we only spent 21 ringgit which is equivalent to S$10 on food! Hooo.... Yeah!! Ok.. here's the list of dishes that we have eaten:
1) Chilli Crabs
2) Clayport Salmon
3) Thai Fried Chicken
4) Sampan Pandan Leaf
5) Deep-fried Oatmeal's Lobster
6) Stingray
Plus additional items : Fried Oyster and Chee Cheong Fan (this is one of our favourite becos the Chee Cheong Fan is so soft and smooth and tasted like those HK's dim-sum style and it's cheaper!)
We will definately go back again soon!! Sometimes I think it's better to go somewhere else during the weekends instead of hanging in Singapore becos there's nothing much to do here... can only nua and nua and nua and nua... which is my specialty!! laf
Well, we reach Singapore around 11 plus... and this time was jammed at the Singapore's custom!! Arrghh.... waste another lot of time in waiting again! went to a 24 hrs Kopitiam after coming back to NUA!! Haa! See! Can only NUA in Singapore!! laf Talked alot of rubbish and cock... had some Teh-O Peng! I was super tired and I'm trying to keep myself awake by talking rubbish!! laf... but overall, it was fun!! I havent had such fun for quite awhile...

Fuck! it's almost 7 am in the morning and I'm still awake! I'm really tired earlier but now I cant sleep! Arrrrggghh.... What's wrong with me man!! There must be something wrong in my body system!! I'm not getting enough sleep but I dun feel sleepy now!! Wat the fuck!!
I can feel it again....depressed is still in me... How did a thing that started happy and nice ended in such a way? Those things that I have sacrificed and done so much doenst meant a thing at all! I realised what a hypocrite is! Someone who says something but do another....Things are still not settled and will not be settled till some sortings are done! Things can end in a nicer way... but I'm hurt becos it is not and I have been treated likewise as a toy without any feelings! No asking of any questions... have to keep quiet and let the owner play with it as and when he likes and feels to! What a dumb toy! Oh well, toy is DUMB anyway!
Off to sleep..Off to sleep...Off to sleep... off to sleep.... zzzzzz......

EXHAUSTED!! That's what I'm feeling now! I can never get enough sleep and rest.... and that's why I'm always so listless and tired especially in the morning! I'm just talking rubbish now... my mind is in a mess and in a world of my own now! Pardon me!!

hmm....... I've been thinking about this for awhile - to get out of here and live and work in somwhere far away ... there's basically nothing here for me to stay on..... I'm sick of my life... I'm sick of everyone... too many sad memories.... too competitive and stressful ..... I need to go somewhere to experience another new kind of life... I'm looking at some possibilities.... hopefully by end of the year I will be off.....

FUCK!! Damn busy these few days!! Lots of things to do at work!! I cant imagine when I start my new module!! It will going be hell for me!! Arrgh!!! But anyway gonna meet the people from SPH today! There is a new cd album releasing and I need to ask them to do a review for it!! Hope the meeting turns out fine!

Anyway, I just received the result for my last module - and I got a CREDIT! Heee Haaa!!! I'm so happy when I saw that! I have been worried about the result becos the exams was a big screwed up!! Some of the questions were not even within the context of the text! Well I'm finally relieved now!! grin BUT... I'm not done yet....there are 8 modules more to go! FUCK!! Oh well... so far my results are not too bad... so I just need to buck up abit more and finally can get a DEGREE!!!! Actually what's the big fuck about getting it, there are sooooo....many degree graduates in the market now - some of them are still unemployed and some earn so fucking little though they are a GRADUATE!!! I think what counts is the working experience you had..that's the most important thing! AH! maybe I shld just quit my course now! hmm....It's just a stupid worthless paper for me!! ...such a competitive and cruel society!

Have you ever been hurt badly by someone? The pain the person has done to you just pierced through yr heart and leave yr heart torned and deeply scarred... That's what I'm experiencing now! I'm in pain.... depression hits me again..... I'm in agony....I need to get over this period of hurt and depression...This is so hard especially at this stage...I hope time can heal my pain and soul! I need to move on and start a brand new life! I really need to...It's worthless to be like this becos of some motherfucker asshole! Some asshole with a cold hearted blood - no emotions and feelings who dun appreciate me, always taking me for granted and worse still - talked bad about me behind my back .... all this while he has been treating me like a toy all the time....such a fucking bastard still exist in this world... and I'm the victim of his cruel and brutal massacre! I was dumb to fall for his trap... how blindless I could be... to be deceived by his decent looks and blackspecs...

I dont feel the same
Everything has started to change
And I dun know
Just what to do
How can I make it right
Just closed my eyes and say goodnite
No painful days and sleepless nights
That dont ever make things right
But I will make it right
Gonna make it right

Besides the pain that I'm having now, I miss someone far away badly too! I wish he can be with me here to make me feel better!! If only he's living here....sigh.... he's so much better than the bastard! he makes me feel warmed and loved...showering me with his care and concern....and most importantly, he wouldnt hurt me ... I hope he really will visit me soon as promised... it would definately meant alot to me...